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Paid for by the Following: Dusty Rhodes

Dusty Rhodes Mello Yello

Despite Dusty having more charisma in his belly-welly’s birthmark than most wrestlers, he never really hit the mainstream like his fellow 80’s cohorts, Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan, and Jesse Ventura. Although that’s not to say attempts weren’t made to have “The American Dream” use his gift to gab to sell a few goods and services via commercials.

Being a common man, nobody understood the plight of the working class more than Dusty Rhodes. In this Northwest Title Loan commercial that Dusty made circa his ECW run, he coached his fellow man on how to avoid Barry Darsow and keep their car.

If you were lucky enough to grow up in Bradenton, Florida then you were treated to probably the best local used car dealership commercials ever recorded thanks to bat-shit crazy, and federally indicted, Tom Stimus. Much like a wrestling promoter, he had a bag full of gimmicks to put asses in seats. Car seats. So bringing in Dusty Rhodes as a spokesperson made the most sense out of all his gimmicks.

Good luck trying to keep out of this Tom Stimus/Dusty Rhodes YouTube wormhole:

In an alternate WWE Universe somewhere, Mello Yello is the official sponsor for their versions of WWE Network pay-per-views/specials. Which I assume are constantly being headlined by Mark Jindrak and Rene Dupree. Unfortunately, Mello Yello was beat out by Mountain Dew to go on and destroy the teeth of the people of Appalachia. Even Dusty Rhodes couldn’t help them.

Perhaps if Dusty had been wearing yellow polka dots he might’ve been able to move a few more units of Mello Yello and beat out Mountain Dew to become the official drink of the people in Appalachia. Or, at the very least, maintain a Coke and Pepsi rivalry with the Dew.

In any case, inside or outside the squared circle, very few could, can, or will ever be able to cut a promo quite like “The American Dream.” He will never be duplicated, but I’ll damned if wrestling fans will ever stop imitating him.

RIP Dusty Rhodes.

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