“Bro-Lo El Cordero”
Season 4, Episode 9
The League is leaving Netflix at the end of this month. So, if you haven’t yet, do yourself a favor and watch this episode where the guys take to the squared circle, lucha libre style.
As with most episodes of The League, much of the improvisational jokes are mixed in with some actual storylines revolving around fantasy football. In this episode, Andre accompanies Kevin to his colonoscopy as part of a ruse to secure Kevin’s much better player in exchange for his shitty one. Kevin claims “trade rape,” despite Andre’s protest that Kevin’s decision was a lucid one, and was in no way affected by the anesthesia. In an ill-advised attempt to settle the dispute, they seek the wisdom of Ruxin’s crazy Mexican brother-in-law, Rafi, or as he’s lovingly referred to, El Cuñado/Bro-Lo. Rafi decides that the best way to put an end to this bickering is to kidnap both Kevin and Andre via chloroform rag to the face (a la Giant Gonzalez from WrestleMania IX), put them under lucha hoods, and set them up in a fight to the death in a pre-Lucha Underground, underground lucha event.
“Because the only justice is in la lucha.”
Kevin and Andre wake up to find themselves suited up and already on opposite corners when they come to. Kevin is dressed in gold and red and introduced as the aptly named, El Crotcho de Fuego, which everyone cheers for. His opponent is announced as La Hermaphrodita, which draws a chorus of jeers, drawing the type of panic that only pro wrestling can drum up. Really, Andre just looks like a forgotten masked Super Mario brother who was really into pink. Andre tries to plead with the crowd to stop booing him, but that’s just some heel 101 type shit.
Jenny (Kevin’s wife) and Taco (Kevin’s brother) show up to the event at Rafi’s behest just as the match begins. It doesn’t take long for them to figure out who’s who. Kevin and Andre start off with some chain wrestling consisting of mostly sissy slapping and some trash talking. They take turns dissing each other’s previous fantasy football league trophy wins, but Andre goes too far when he claims that Jenny is a better fantasy player than Kevin. This causes Kevin to unleash a devastating clothesline immediately dropping Andrey on his back. As Kevin goes to follow up, Andre locks in his feet around Kevin’s throat, like he’s going to set up that sweet Mil Mascaras twisting head scissors spot, but it’s really just a regular head scissor takedown.
As all this is going on, Rafi is at ringside yelling Rafi-type things, like “shit in his mouth” And “snap his neck.” Which really made me nostalgic for old school wrestling managers that were good with the trash talk. And also made me wish more managers would use the type of trash talk Rafi was displaying here. Imagine how awesome it would’ve been to hear Bobby Heenan scream “shit in his mouth” at Andre the Giant as he was choking out Hulk Hogan.
Anyway, Kevin no sells the head scissor takedown and gives Andre a gutwrench suplex. Kevin then slaps on the dreaded camel clutch (a common wrestling move in TV wrestling episodes) and humbles Andre into admitting that he took advantage of the trade while Kevin was still loopy. Kevin denies the trade and is declared the winner.
The celebration is cut short as Rafi introduces the next match. It’s him as Bro-Lo El Cordero (The Sheep) vs. El Abogado Malo (The Evil Lawyer), who happens to be a still-sleepy and confused Ruxin sporting a mask similar to Mil Mascaras’ green “shark” mask, but with stereotypical negative connotations. Their battle is for the right to be the sole father to Ruxin’s kid and Rafi’s nephew, Baby Geoffrey. Rafi chases Ruxin around the ring until his low blood sugar kicks in (set up earlier in the show) and he drops to the canvas about to go into a diabetic seizure. Andre calls for someone to bring some candy or anything with sugar. Jenny happens to be sporting edible panties (also from a previous set up) and apprehensively takes them off and hands them to Rafi, who devours them in the most Rafi way possible as he nourishes himself back to health.
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