Trailer Park Boys

“The Green Bastard”
Season 4 Episode 4
5/2/2004

The Trailer Park Boys is a documentary style sitcom much like The Office and Parks and Recreation. It’s also a sitcom about white trash. More specifically, Canadian white trailer trash. And in the grand tradition of white trash sitcoms, like Married with Children and The Beverly Hillbillies, Trailer Park Boys has an episode that involves pro wrestling. Actually, it’s backyard wrestling. But still, it counts. Plus, it gave us one of the best gimmicks in all of sitcom professional wrestling: The Green Bastard!

This episode is brought to you by the awesomely gifted comic book artist, Ramon Villalobos. Not to be confused with the Ramon Villalobos freckles make-up artist for Amor Prohibido, who was featured in memoriam on an episode of Arrested Development. This is one of Ramon’s favorite wrestling-themed episodes. He loves it so much he even immortalized The Green Bastard in his artwork. Which you can own!

Former trailer park supervisor and perpetual pain in main character Ricky’s ass, Jim Lahey, has been awarded trailer park supervisor of the year by the International Association of Trailer Park Supervisors. Problem is, he’s no longer the trailer park supervisor. Ricky is. And while Ricky is planning a community day for the trailer park, Jim is busy talking trailer park owner and ex-wife, Barb, into letting him be supervisor once more to receive the award.

Meanwhile, Ricky is giving back to the community by offering front loader tractor rides, and backyard wrestling. Because if you’re going to throw a community day in a trailer park front loader tractor rides and backyard wrestling are a must! His pal and big-time wrestling fan, Bubbles, is beyond words when he sees the makeshift ring Ricky has built for him. There’s mattresses on top of a wooden base, which is crucial for most backyard wrestling rings. Wooden posts on each corner with turnbuckles made up of miscellaneous crap that one might be available to find in their local trailer park. But there’s only two sets of ropes. Not three. All in all, as far as wrestling rings go this little 7×7 squared circle is still a crapload better than 90% of most backyard wrestling rings seen on YouTube videos.

With the ring ready to go, Bubbles wastes little time transforming into his wrestling alter ego from Parts Unknown: The Green Bastard. Perhaps the shittiest of lucha libre costumes. But it is its shitty DIY backyard style that makes it awesome. A ski mask with larger than average holes, plastic tarp as a cape, and a giant G-B emblazoned on the chest in black electrical tape. And it’s all green. Hence, the name. Once in full Green Bastard getup, Bubbles can’t wait to start “hammerin’ people.”

Once the show gets going it’s like an even shittier version of MTV’s Wrestling Society X. There’s a drummer backing Bubbles The Green Bastard as he strums away on his guitar before introducing the night’s first two combatants. The two skinny, alien built guys are commanded by The Green Bastard to take off their shirts before rasslin’. Which you’ve got to give credit to Bubbles for staying true to the art form. It’s the reason why, despite being immensely popular, people still have a problem with Dean Ambrose. He needs to dump the damn tank top and jeans for some wrestling appropriate attire. Preferably something in spandex. Never mind that Bubbles himself is fully clothed from head to toe, but The Green Bastard does whatever he wants.

Bernie Sandford, the President of the International Association of Trailer Park Supervisors, arrives to present the award to Jim but is taken aback by Ricky’s insolence. After being continually disrespected, and having their food stolen, a tag team mach is made between Jim and his pot-bellied lackey, Randy, against Ricky and The Green Bastard. With the highest of stakes on the line: the job of trailer park supervisor. But hold on a minute, playa! Bernie interjects himself as the special guest referee.

Randy not only complies with The Green Bastard’s rule of taking off your shit, but also strips down to his Jockeys. Most of the match is just Ricky and Randy brawling with little actual wrestling moves thrown in. But there’s wrestling tropes aplenty! In the middle of the melee Bernie takes a ref bump courtesy of Randy. With Bernie down, Jim plays Bobby Heenan and slides Randy a foreign object which he uses to gain the upper hand against Ricky, who was busy making the fatal babyface mistake of pandering to the crowd. Not one to stand for such injustice, Green Bastard leaps inside the ring and slaps the dreaded sleeper hold on Randy, while Ricky punches him in the gut. And just like we’ve grown accustomed to over the years of watching pro wrestling, Bernie wakes up in time to see the two babyfaces attacking the heel and “dis-fucking-qualifies” them both. He doesn’t even give them the mandatory five count as tag team wrestling dictates for one of them to exit the ring. Although, to be fair, Green Bastard never tagged in. And like every other typical wrestling referee, Bernie didn’t even see Randy’s illegal weapon. It just goes to show that faced with an impromptu wrestling match, the residents of a trailer park community will not only automatically know the rules, but also assume their respective roles as well.

Ricky is pissed, but Green Bastard and Julian are able to talk him out of caring about the damn job and focus on what matters most; growing pot. Ricky sees their point, but upon learning that he missed out on winning a 1991 Cadillac he takes to the cleverly planted front loader tractor from the beginning of the show and uses it to flip over Jim and Bernie’s cars. Again, another wrestling trope. Mad as hell, Bernie storms off and presumably takes off in the Caddy without bothering to call the cops, press charges, or at the very least contact his auto insurance provider. Even on Monday Night Raw the cops are called in every now and then for lesser crimes. Still, even without the use of actual wrestling moves during the main match itself, Trailer Park Boys at least nailed the drama and excitement of the in-ring storytelling. Not bad for a wrestling-themed sitcom episode.