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Heels Season One: Wrestler Rankings

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With season two of Heels having wrapped up this past July, it’s only a matter of time before its release. What better way to catch up than with a kayfabe top ten ranking of the wrestlers of the Duffy Wrestling League based on season one.

Warning: This ranking contains season one spoilers. You can watch it now on Starz

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10. Apocalypse
The former DWL champion has done little to live up to his name this past season. Despite a strong showing in a battle royal, the big man still came up short. Same goes for his outing at the big DWL Georgia State Fair show, where he and Diego Cottonmouth lost to Ricky Rabies and Big Jim.

 

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9. Bobby Pin
The young rookie quickly found himself involved in the DWL’s biggest feud. Bobby Pin temporarily served as a distraction from Ace Spade’s title quest, only to get his leg snapped by Ace in the middle of their steel cage match. While recovering, he refereed for the state fair’s triple threat ladder match between Jack Spade, Wild Bill Hancock and Ace, all while calling it down the middle. This next season Bobby needs to show more of an edge and prove he belongs in the same ring alongside DWL’s other top draws.

 

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8. Diego Cottonmouth
Not much is known about DWL’s resident luchador. What he lacks in high-flying lucha moves, he makes up in size. In what can be considered an upset, the masked man won the DWL battle royal by last eliminating odds-on favorite, Rooster Robbins. Nothing much came of it, other than bragging rights, as he didn’t receive a title shot at Jack Spade. He did put in a losing effort alongside Apocalypse in a tag team match at the state fair show. Can be considered a wild card leading into season two.

 

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7. Big Jim Kitchen
After coming up on the losing end in his match against DWL Champion Jack Spade, Big Jim took some time off from the ring to focus on being a new dad. He didn’t stay away too long as Jim made his return to the DWL in time for the state fair show, picking up a win with Ricky Rabies over Apocalypse and Cottonmouth. This return to DWL could mean big things for Jim’s future, especially with the void left behind by Rooster Robbins.

 

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6. Ricky Rabies
The longtime journeyman seemed to take a liking to his temporary home at the DWL. He impressed fans in his match against Jack Spade, but was unable to win the belt. Despite being a bit past his prime, the legendary fan favorite was still booked at DWL’s major state fair show. Not only did Rabies and Big Jim beat Apocalypse and Diego Cottonmouth, but Rabies was the one who got the pin. Which is either a great send-off or a sign of things to come.

 

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5. Crystal
The former valet showed that there was more to her than just cheering on Ace Spade from ringside. After turning on Ace and aligning herself with Wild Bill as the newest incarnation of Bunny Bombshell, Crystal shocked the world when she inserted herself in the triple threat ladder match and claimed the DWL championship title. Having never previously showcased any women’s wrestling on their cards, it’ll be interesting to see how DWL moves forward with Crystal’s title run. Will her challengers continue to be DWL’s regular male roster, or will they start booking other female wrestlers as well?

 

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4. Wild Bill Hancock
After being placed on sabbatical from the big leagues up north for creating his own Dark Side of the Ring episode, Wild Bill found himself back at the DWL, in the main even title picture, no less. Of course, this was all based on Wild Bill’s ability to talk asses into seats than his actual wrestling ability. The elder statesman could barely hang with the Spade brothers in the triple threat ladder match for the DWL championship. In fact, it was Wild Bill’s irritable bowel that led to Crystal inserting herself in the match and changing the face of the DWL. Will Bill stick around to accompany the new champ to her matches, or will he finally get the call to return up north.

 

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3. Rooster Robbins
Perhaps the actual pound-for-pound best wrestler in the DWL. With years of experience under his belt and a top player in the southern independent wrestling scene, the loss of Rooster to Florida Wrestling Dystopia was a major blow to the DWL. It only took Rooster his first night in FWD to claim their top championship. Something that eluded him for years at the DWL. Though rumored to be a transitional champion for a debuting Jack Spade, the switch never happened. It’ll be interesting to see if Charlie Gully has actual plans for Rooster’s title run, or if he was just a pawn in the war between FWD and the DWL.

 

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2. Ace Spade
The apple of Tom “King” Spade’s eye. The younger of the Spade brothers showed that despite being green, Ace has the potential to usurp Jack as the rightful heir to the Spade throne. Ace lived up to his name as he put on quite a few standout showings, including a cage match against newcomer Bobby Pin, and in a triple threat for the DWL title. Although originally favored to win the belt, Ace failed to secure the title on two occasions. Now that the belt is with Crystal, it’s only a matter of time before these two reignite their feud.

 

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1. Jack Spade
The franchise and top heel of the DWL. Jack had a dominant run on top as the champion taking on all-comers, including Big Jim, Rabies, and brother Ace. Although many fans think he was purposely ducking Rooster Robbins, who many think had Jack’s number. Will Jack take this title loss as a sign to step out of the spotlight and make room for others, or will he continue obsessing over what he feels is rightfully his?

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