10 Count!

10 Count! Wrestler Day Jobs

YMCA PIcApparently the economic climate of the early to mid 90’s, was worse off than the one we’re currently in now. So much so, certain lower-tier to mid-card wrestlers had to supplement their income by taking up day jobs, or supplement their day jobs by moonlighting as wrestlers if you prefer to see it from that perspective. You can’t blame wrestling for trying this out. Comic books have always done it. Peter Parker is a photographer by day, Superman is a journalist, and Bruce Wayne is a billionaire. Yet, the guys dress the part when it comes to playing hero. You won’t catch Superman beating the crap out of Lex Luthor in a suit and glasses. Many of the wrestlers on this list decided to not only take up wrestling as a second job, but not bother masking their identity, and instead celebrate their first career choice by refusing to wrestle in professional wrestling garb. You figured after the first time he got yanked around by his necktie IRS would’ve learned his lesson. But nope, without his tie and suspenders the fans wouldn’t know what he did for a living. So, in celebration of Labor Day, let’s take a look at the top wrestlers with day jobs.

10. The Mexicools
20130902-183300.jpgPolitical Correctness has never been wrestling’s strong suit, much less racial sensitivity. Especially, in the WWE. One of the prime examples of that school of thought was the introduction of the Mexicools. They were never actually sold on air as gardeners, but the clever wit of the creative team shone through by way of janitor overalls, lawn mower rides, and gardening tools. The mariachi music was used in case we forgot they were Mexican. As we all know, Mexican gardeners obviously don’t get paid well, so it’s easy to see why The Mexicools had to develop a green thumb to stay financially afloat, especially when WCW and ECW shut down.

9. Doink the Clown
Doink
They never said Doink was a former children’s party clown, or something like that, but who the hell dresses as a clown just for the hell of it? Even John Wayne Gacy did it as a side gig in order to kill people. Doink probably just felt like making the jump from one circus to another. Perhaps beating the Ringmaster at Circus Vargas with a fake broken arm didn’t go over as well as it did in the WWE, so it was time to pack his suitcase full of novelty-size gags and go elsewhere. People argue that Doink had no place in wrestling in 1993, but given that 1995 WWE was just a couple of years away, Doink, if anything, was ahead of his time.

8. Big Josh
BigJosh
Big Josh probably felt being a lumberjack was a surefire way to gain success in a business that specifically had matches suited towards people of his ilk. However, Big Josh never became the king of the lumberjack matches, much the same way Bunkhouse Buck never became the king of bunkhouse brawl matches, but Big Josh tried. The Paul Bunyan thing ran its course quick and Josh got tired of being a wrestling lumberjack who was always being laughed at, and decided to become a wrestler fans could laugh along with. Or at, still.

7. Firebreaker Chip
Chip
While most WCW newcomers came through the WCW Power Plant, Firebreaker Chip was part of their covert WCW Special Forces, presumably putting out fires as his flame retardant attire would suggest. Whether he was a voluntary firefighter or not was never disclosed. Neither was the exact job that Todd Champion held within the Special Forces, other than looking very military like. There’s not much else to say, other than here’s a fight pitting The Patriots against Rick Rude and Vader. And a solo Firebreaker Chip vs. mini Van Hammer, JT Southern.

6. Repo Man
RepMan
The Repo Man was basically a thief, complete with Hamburglar eye mask. Most times repo men repossess items such as cars from people who have not made their monthly payments on time. Not outright steal it from you just because. Generally, that’s the bulk of a repo man’s career, repossessing cars as was made evident by the Repo Man’s attire, which included tire tracks because, much like the guys on Operation Repo, he dealt with some unruly people who literally ran him over all because they didn’t want to give up their Ford Taurus. Maybe he deserved it since he was basically stealing shit from people. The Repo Man wasn’t a hit with the WWE crowd, as he was no Emilio Estevez, or Jude Law, or Forest Whitaker for that matter.

5. Irwin R. Schyster
IRS
With a name like that, how can you avoid not going into working for the IRS? When you think about it, IRS and Repo Man made more sense as a tag team, Then Ted DiBiase and IRS ever did. If you didn’t pay your taxes, IRS could send the Repo Man to take your stuff. Talk about a missed opportunity. He definitely gets the award for having the most nonsensical wrestling attire this side of Big Bubba Rogers and Mr. Hughes. Despite having looked like Michael Douglas in Falling Down, at least IRS had the skills to back up overcompensate for his non-threatening appearance.

4. TL Hopper
TL Hopper
Having come from Smokey Mountain Wrestling, TL Hopper was already shaken by the lack of job security as a wrestler that he had no choice but to adopt a second job. It wasn’t the most ideal job, but depending on their certification level, plumbers make out all right. Why do you think people hate calling plumbers to unclog a pipe? Also, you would think with TL Hopper’s inclusion in the WWE main roster, the WWE would be less strict about Kassius Ohno getting into “TV shape.” You can catch TL Hopper in action on YouTube in a tag team match in, of all places, a BartGunnFan YouTube channel. Don’t forget to subscribe!

3. Big Boss Man
BigBossMan
I could’ve just as easily bundled up The Mountie with the Boss Man for a tie at #3 seeing as they both uphold the law in their respective countries, but the Boss Man was the first to put law enforcement officials on the wrestling map. When you consider the Big Boss Man was a heel when he first started, meaning he was an a-hole prison guard, it kind of gives you a different perspective on the Nailz/Boss Man feud. For all we knew, Nailz was like Orange is the New Black’s Piper Chapman and Boss Man was a terrorizing prick like Pornstache Mendez. But by the time that feud started the Boss Man had won us over. Like many on this list, Boss Man was quick to incorporate his day job accessories (handcuffs & nightstick). The fact that he knew how to twirl that nightstick around with such precision made him even more badass and showed our tax paying dollars put to good use.

2. Duke “The Dumpster” Droese
DukeDroeseApparently Vince McMahon wanted to capitalize on the success of Fox’s early 90’s sitcom Roc and decided that a garbage man would be a perfect fit for the roster. Sadly, Duke didn’t make as big an impact as I’m sure Vince McMahon would’ve wanted him to. Which is a shame when you consider that “The Dumpster’s” success would’ve paved the way for public service characters like, Dennis “U.S. Postmaster General” Hinckley, and Joey “The Toll Booth Attendant” Ortiz. Yet, the man was an integral part of the foundation of Triple H’s WWE career, feuding with him before Triple H moved onto bigger and greater things like hog pen matches against Henry O. Godwinn, and pretend-screwing cheerleader corpses. And according to Wikipedia, Duke Droese’s feud with Lawler was one of the first instances of hardcore wrestling taking place in the WWE when Lawler used Duke’s own trash can on him. Despite these accolades, poor Duke Droese has never had an action figure made of him. Here’s hoping Mattel picks up the slack from Jakk’s Pacific and releases him as part of their Legends line. He was in the Wrestlemania X-Seven gimmick battle royal! Almost every wrestler in that damn match (except for the Goon) has had an action figure made of them.

1. Isaac Yankem, DDS
IsaacYankem_original
Considering the cost of dental care, most dentists make a good living, but much like George Hardy, the dentist who turned actor for the well-received Troll 2, and even better-received Best Worst Movie, Yankem found a higher calling that led him to the big bright lights of the WWE. He was introduced as Jerry Lawler’s personal dentist so that automatically meant he was feuding with Bret Hart since this was 1995. Yankem definitely fell into the category of kids’ nightmares come to life, alongside Doink, which meant instant kid heat. Whereas guys like “Dr. Death” Steve Williams simply used the nickname and didn’t actually come out with a white coat or stethoscope, it was important that the WWE go all the way with this gimmick. Most people would say Yankem’s horrible teeth were a nice touch and a compliment to the WWE’s repertoire of subtle references, but the most horrible part of Isaac Yankem was his hair, especially when it was bleached blonde. Was he supposed to be making fun of former disgruntled WWE employee, and fellow medical practitioner, “Dr. D” David Schultz?

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