What the World is Watching

Married with Children

marriedwithchildrenshow“Flight of the Bumblebee”
Season 10, Episode 7

Ah, The Bundys. They changed the landscape of prime-time sitcoms, with their uncouth, unabashed, unapologetic style and made an everlasting joke out of shoe salesmen the world over. And they put the Fox network on the map. So, there’s that. In this particular episode, a Bundy once again finds himself forced to wrestle. Only instead of a big lady wrestler, it’s a fat male wrestler.

Al Bundy and perhaps the greatest stable in television history, the No Ma’am gang, have recently become obsessed with watching wrestling and King Kong Bundy. The group, which includes next door neighbor Jefferson, Cliff the cop, and the two chubby white guys, find that Peggy and her friends have beat them to the couch and are watching some made-for-TV movie.

Faced with no other alternative than to punk Al’s son, Bud, for his TV, the men head downstairs to the basement. They walk in on Bud, who on one of the show’s rare occasions actually has a girl down in his room. Nasty Natalie leaves in disgust and, sadly, Bud’s forced to live another day a virgin.

IMG_1239One of the chubby guys asks the obvious question of whether or not King Kong Bundy is related to Al, to which he says no, and is an obvious lie as King Kong Bundy made a previous appearance in the earlier years of Married with Children as Uncle Irwin. It’s like an episode of Monday Night Raw, no continuity at all.

Bud then asks to join the No Ma’am group. The guys agree to it if Bud can get his picture taken with King Kong at the upcoming Wrestlepalooza event, a name they clearly lifted from ECW.

The show just happens to take place on Halloween night, and Bud is able to get backstage thanks to the costume Kelly handpicked for him: a bumblebee suit. This helps further the trend of yellow-attired, bee-themed costumes that has become a thing on sitcoms, like Mama’s Family. Bud’s bumblebee suit even comes complete with stinger on the back. While backstage, Bud is questioned by John Coffee, Michael Clarke Duncan. Bud insists that he’s the backup wrestler and is allowed to exist backstage.

IMG_1219King Kong Bundy then storms out of his own dressing room, something he’s probably never had in real life, and goes off on his opponent Dr. Ecology for not being able to make their match.

Before Bud can take a picture with him, Kelly offers Bud’s backup services and just like that, without any clearance or some sort of professional wrestler license, Bud is now in the main event. Now this could go two ways, either hilarity ensues or the promoters of Wrestlepalooza have a Mass Transit Incident on their hands. Luckily for us, we get both.

IMG_1331The poor man’s Michael Buffer, Jimmy Lennon Jr., does the introductions for the bout, announcing Kelly as Bud’s valet, Honey, and King Kong Bundy’s valet, a woman who’s not Bobby Heenan. Who happens to have a name that would make Kimona Wanaleya proud: Anytime.

As soon as the bell rings, Bud drops to his knees and begs off King Kong Bundy. King Kong promises to go easy on him, then gives Bud a knee to the face that sends him flying ten feet into the air, as most devastating wrestling moves do in real life. Bud bounces off of the ring ropes, the way no wrestler ever has, and stings King Kong Bundy in the ass with his stinger.

King Kong doesn’t take too kindly to moves to the butt because of a long standing tradition of gay panic in pro wrestling, and decides to hate-beat the crap out of Bud Bundy.

IMG_1328Meanwhile, back at the Bundy house, the No Ma’am collective have forced their wives to watch the Wrestlepalooza event with them. The women get worked up by watching the oily men in spandex, and continue getting turned on by what’s happening onscreen. Despite the fact that said oily men in spandex is still King Kong Bundy and Bud in a bumblebee suit. Who would’ve known a King Kong Bundy match could be an aphrodisiac to women?

The wives start to get grabby with their men, which repulses them, even Al, who has the hottest wife in the group. But that’s nothing new if you’re a Married with Children fan. It being Halloween and all, the wives start to corner the No Ma’am group, slowly coming at them, with gesticulating fingers, ready to devour them, like something out of Night of the Living Dead. Or some porn parody of it.

IMG_1235Bundy squashes Bud, like the bug he’s cosplaying as, using actual wrestling moves. Like, a clothesline, and that thing where fat wrestlers just step on their fallen opponents because they can. King Kong Bundy then heads to the ropes and delivers an un-Bundy-like Superfly Jimmy Snuka splash from the top rope for the win.

The best bit out of the entire match was Bundy forcing the referee to count up to his patented five, instead of the usual three. I couldn’t help but smile at that. In this case, the wrestling was presented as “legit” as it can be. So much so, that it leaves a debilitated Bud on the couch, hooked up to an IV next to Al, who Peggy damn near sexed to death.


4 thoughts on “Married with Children”

  1. Pingback: Weird Science

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.