Professional wrestling, brought to you by pop culture and the make believe world of mass media.
Medium: Television
Title: Supernatural
Bio: When not endangering the safety of his opponents by wrestling drunk, The Hangman likes to live up to his moniker by choking out his opponents with a magical noose that drops from the ceiling.
Signature Move: Hanging wrestlers.
Medium: Film
Title: Backyard Dogs
Bio: A backyard wrestler with dreams of going pro. The Ninja mixes martial arts with wrestling, like a less successful Steve Blackman. When not getting overshadowed by his tag team partner, Cole Davis, The Ninja and Cole are consistently overcoming the odds as the Backyard Warriors.
Signature Move: Mighty morphing into a cruiserweight wrestler.
Medium: Film
Title: Backyard Dogs
Bio: The Shawn Michaels of the Backyard Warriors. If Shawn Michaels was less talented than Marty Jannetty, but won the heart of the same girl they were after. He’s the guy who gets the hot tag and the glory.
Signature Move: Dropkicks and double-crossing.
Medium: Film
Title: The Naked Man
Bio: The Naked Man will go down in cinematic wrestling history for going off-script and legitimately hurting the entire locker room of wrestlers before cutting one of the most heartfelt, confusing promos. Was rumored to be Slim Goodbody’s evil twin brother.
Signature Move: Cracking backs.
Medium: Film
Title: The Wrestler
Bio: He was once one of the biggest wrestling stars of the 80’s and 90’s. Although a shell of his former self, Randy “The Ram” Robinson still competed on independent wrestling shows, until his last match against his most famous rival, The Ayatollah, at a Ring of Honor show.
Signature Move: The Ram Jam.
Medium: Comics
Title: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #6
Bio: Despite becoming a masked luchador in the name of his father, El Muerto is neither a junior or a El hijo del. After being given 10 years to train and unmask a hero, in order to avenge his father’s death and earn his mask, El Muerto chooses to go after Spider-Man of all people, instead of a regular babyface/tecnico luchador.
Signature Move: Being rescued from El Dorado.
Medium: Television
Title: Rumble
Bio: Having retired from the construction game, Melvin and Neville turned to pro wrestling to exert their girth in a more productive manner. Besides a win over The Forces of Evil, The Beefy Boys were mostly known for their larger than life presence than their impressive winning record. They even landed a part in a fast food commercial.
Signature Move: Being duped into doing things.
Medium: Television
Title: Rumble
Bio: Lord Byron is the face and owner of the Global Wrestling Federation. The GWF is constantly at war with the Real American Wrestling faction, despite rumors that Byron is secretly funding RAW. Proving that money can buy everything, Byron bought the Lord Mount Evans Tag Team Title even though he mostly wrestles as a singles wrestler. He then lost the same title in a singles match against The Prophet.
Signature Move: Spending money frivolously.
Medium: Television
Title: Rumble
Bio: Like how most retired wrestlers are wont to do, The Prophet returned to the squared-circle after having taken a vow to spread the gospel and cure little girls of being deaf. He challenged Britain’s best, Lord Byron, in a winner-takes-all match, which included the Lord Mount Evan’s Tag Team Championship belt, and Byron’s love interest, Georgy.
Signature Move: Spreading the word of God.
Medium: Television
Title: Scrubs
Bio: The Intern was a world champion wrestler. A malnourished world champion wrestler, but a world champion nonetheless. Maybe. Nobody ever knew who he won the title from or where the title came from. But one thing was certain, few were as aggressive as The Intern was on the mic.
Signature Move: Cutting promos.
Cheap Pop Culture 