The last installment of the fictional WrestleMania cards. I was only able to come up with nine matches and that’s probably a good thing, or else the terrier from Russell Madness versus Zeus would’ve been a match booked on this card.
Title: The Naked Man
Bio: The Naked Man will go down in cinematic wrestling history for going off-script and legitimately hurting the entire locker room of wrestlers before cutting one of the most heartfelt, confusing promos. Was rumored to be Slim Goodbody’s evil twin brother.
Signature Move: Cracking backs.
Title: The Wrestler
Bio: He was once one of the biggest wrestling stars of the 80’s and 90’s. Although a shell of his former self, Randy “The Ram” Robinson still competed on independent wrestling shows, until his last match against his most famous rival, The Ayatollah, at a Ring of Honor show.
Signature Move: The Ram Jam.
2015 wasn’t the greatest year for wrestling legends in terms of breaking news stories. Two of the greatest entertainers, Dusty Rhodes and Roddy Piper, passed away. Jimmy Snuka was arrested and charged with third-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter of his then-girlfriend, Nancy Argentino, 32 years after the fact. And, even though former Hulkmaniacs thought it impossible, Hulk Hogan was able to further desecrate his legacy and contribution to professional wrestling by adding to his already long list of personal failures and embarrassments his dropping of the n-word. Multiple times. Seriously, you would’ve thought it was one of the Hulkamania commandments after “take your vitamins.”
Thankfully, this site focuses on wrestling in pop culture. So even when it’s bad, it’s not going to leave you depressed and questioning everything you kayfabe believed in. And luckily, 2015 was a good year for pro wrestling within the canon of pop culture.
Les Reines du Ring is WWE’s first attempt at utilizing WWE Studios to co-produce a movie about wrestling. And not lame ass amateur wrestling like Legendary starring John Cena, but good ol’ “Sports Entertainment” professional wrestling. Apparently, the film must’ve done well in France for WWE to consider remaking it for U.S. audiences in order to save us the trouble from reading subtitles. So get to know Les Reines du Ring before its potential American remake is released and take pleasure in the fact that France is capable of producing by-the-numbers Hollywood saccharine crap, and not just avant-garde, art house films like Holy Motors.
With wrestling and cinema going head-to-head this Sunday, when WWE’s Fastlane goes up against the 87th annual Academy Awards, I figured it’d be best to provide you with the definitive ranking of the best fictional wrestlers in movie history. I tried to hold back on this list until Luis Guzman’s Aztec Warrior was finally released, as I’m sure he would’ve provided with a memorable interpretation of a luchador, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen any time soon. First, a few honorable mentions.