Medium: Animation
Title: Porky the Wrestler
Bio: A giant ogre of a man who ruled the wrestling circuits of the 1930’s. Suffered the biggest and most embarrassing loss of his career on a fluke to newcomer Porky Pig.
Signature Move: The airplane spin.
Tag: Pop Culture
Looney Tunes
“Porky the Wrestler”
No. 153
1/9/1937
Long before Bugs Bunny donned a mask and stepped into the squared circle for some slapstick shenanigans, his brother from a Warner Brother, Porky Pig, was the first Looney ‘toon to step into the ring.
Uncle Samson
Medium: Film
Title: Box of Moonlight
Bio: Even with a physique that leaned more towards the uncle side, Uncle Samson was always protecting the good folks at local armories and American Legion Posts from the evils of communism via good ol’ American wrestling know-how.
Signature Move: Corkscrew elbow drop.
“The White Knight” Jack Braden
Medium: Film
Title: Mad Bull
Bio: Proving that knights were indeed of lower nobility, Jack Braden was as big a dick inside the ring as he was outside of it. Despite being a babyface, Braden would oftentimes go into business for himself and actually injure the wrestlers he faced.
Signature Move: Shooting on unsuspecting opponents.
Lump and Loaf
Medium: Animation
Title: The Ren and Stimpy Show
Bio: Lump and Loaf are of the big, bald, and mean as shit variety of cartoon wrestlers. They will beat the crap out of your animated heroes using well-known cartoon holds, like rolling their opponents into a ball. But when it’s all said and done and it’s time to go home, they’ll happily lie down for their opponents.
Signature Move: Doing the job.
Nacho
Medium: Film
Title: Nacho Libre
Bio: Simply known as Nacho, this pudgy luchador went on to great singles success after breaking away from his long-time tag team partner, Esqueleto. In the biggest win of his career, Nacho upset Mexican champion, Ramses, then returned to his humble beginnings as a cook for a local Oaxacan orphanage.
Signature Move: La Casita.
The Lover
Medium: Film
Title: The One and Only
Bio: A wrestler who had gone through more gimmick changes than Ed Leslie, Andy Schmidt finally found his calling as The Lover. Even though he wasn’t built like a wrestler, or even knew how to actually wrestle, he embodied the true essence of professional wrestling: the spectacle of excess.
Signature Move: Making a grand entrance.
Frankie the Thumper
Medium: Film
Title: Paradise Alley
Bio: A mobster’s hired muscle by day and a grappler by night, Frankie the Thumper almost picked up his biggest win against Kid Salami had he not been disqualified for continually attacking Salami after the round was over. In his defense, it was the 22nd round and he was probably getting tired of waiting for Salami to finally go down.
Signature Move: Thumping.
“The Human Crane” Kid Morgan
Medium: Anime
Title: Karate Master
Bio: Despite being able to lift a car, the gigantic Kid Morgan was another in a long list of American wrestlers who fell prey to Ken Asuka in a series of wrestling vs. karate bouts.
Signature Move: Airplane spin.
Red-Headed Killer
Medium: Anime
Title: Karate Master
Bio: Red-Headed Killer was a racist pro wrestler who really disliked Japanese karate masters. He lost his vision to the dreaded eye-poke of doom.
Signature Move: Xenophobia.
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