Professional wrestling, brought to you by pop culture and the make believe world of mass media.
Medium: Television
Title: Supernatural
Bio: Gunner Lawless once sold his soul for a world title shot and a lifetime supply of wrestling gear decorated with tassels. Now, he’s the main booker of Top Notch Wrestling, which means he’ll occasionally put himself over the younger talent.
Signature Move: Chokeslam and selling his soul to the devil.
Medium: Television
Title: Supernatural
Bio: When not endangering the safety of his opponents by wrestling drunk, The Hangman likes to live up to his moniker by choking out his opponents with a magical noose that drops from the ceiling.
Signature Move: Hanging wrestlers.
“Beyond the Mat”
Season 11, Episode 15
2/26/2016
The Supernatural Bros., Sam and Dean Winchester, investigate the sudden death of a wrestler. Which, in the world of professional wrestling, isn’t really that strange until you factor in that the death wasn’t due to heart failure, suicide, or drug overdose. Okay, maybe that’s not the best way to start this post. Did I mention The Miz makes a cameo? Wait… come back.
The last installment of the fictional WrestleMania cards. I was only able to come up with nine matches and that’s probably a good thing, or else the terrier from Russell Madness versus Zeus would’ve been a match booked on this card.
This video is brought to you by the hilarious Matt McCarthy (No. 2 on the Comedians Who Are Legit Wrestling Fans list), who is also the co-host of the We Watch Wrestling podcast. In it, he plays a bar patron who is a defender of all things pro wrestling. But he doesn’t have to sell how real pro wrestling is because Dolph Ziggler shows up to superkick some sense into some jaybrone who claims it’s fake. And you get to see Dolph wax philosophical about Bishop George Berkeley, writer Samuel Johnson, and subjective idealism. Yeah, they went there! Also, “I refute it thus!” should be Damien Sandow’s new catchphrase.
With WonderCon having just taken place in Los Angeles last weekend; and, more importantly, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice coming out last week; and, even more importantly, my ongoing 10 Count! series in which I’m booking fantasy WrestleMania cards based on different pop culture mediums, I bring you the ultimate comic book fictional wrestling card. Which is way better than anything Marvel’s Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation has ever put on.
The Internet Wrestling Community (IWC) A.K.A. wrestling fans in general, usually celebrate the month leading up to WrestleMania by posting up on forums and complaining about the current WrestleMania card and booking their own dream WrestleMania. It’s nothing but an exercise in futility. Then again, being a wrestling fan usually is. So instead of booking a card that I feel WWE should’ve put together for this year’s WrestleMania and disappointing myself further, I figured I’d book a completely fictitious WrestleMania card inspired by wrestling characters from different pop culture mediums (film, comic books, and video games), starting with video games.
Medium: Film
Title: Backyard Dogs
Bio: A backyard wrestler with dreams of going pro. The Ninja mixes martial arts with wrestling, like a less successful Steve Blackman. When not getting overshadowed by his tag team partner, Cole Davis, The Ninja and Cole are consistently overcoming the odds as the Backyard Warriors.
Signature Move: Mighty morphing into a cruiserweight wrestler.
Medium: Film
Title: Backyard Dogs
Bio: The Shawn Michaels of the Backyard Warriors. If Shawn Michaels was less talented than Marty Jannetty, but won the heart of the same girl they were after. He’s the guy who gets the hot tag and the glory.
Signature Move: Dropkicks and double-crossing.
“Wrestling Grandpa”
Season 6, Episode 18
5/1/1999
Cheap Pop Culture 